October 22, 2007

The war of my world

Today is the day that I begin creating ump-teen-billion sample boards so my new business can finally begin. I have been up for a couple of hours going over all the items that need to be purchased to make this dream a reality and although it is a fairly small list that can be acquired from just one shop, I am finding it difficult to get ready to go. Is it fear of success that keeps me tied to this stained and uncomfortable chair or is it fear of traffic like I keep trying to convince myself? Either way is inconsequential, all that really matters is I need to get it done and once I am back here glazing or troweling plaster on 18" x 24" pieces of polystyrene I will feel like a million bucks.

Getting over the fear of rejection is something I have never been good at so I have never really put myself out there to experience it. BAD! It is a difficult battle that always takes place in my head where the perfectionist meets the artist and I sit back to let them fight it out. The big secret is that neither of them ever does win and the battle continues to rage on. For the first time, today is the day where I pick a side and let the artist win. After all, how can I make any mistakes to learn from if I never allow myself to do anything at all?

My first client meeting is already booked for next Monday, she wants a finish in her bathroom and will possibly re-hire me to do her living room as well, so having my book together when we meet is necessary. The job will definitely be a test of my creativity and intimate knowledge of color interaction seeing she loves the colors of autumn but has slate gray tile in the shower. This is where my training in Interior Design will certainly come in very handy as I furiously thumb through my pantone to locate the perfect color to mix. This job will go off without a hitch though, I truly believe that, because I know my skills exist to make it so. Sometimes I just need to write it down to convince the perfectionist to take a hike.

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